


i want you

by avestrum



Series: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, Cunnilingus, Fingerfucking, Kissing, M/M, Squirting, Trans Goshiki Tsutomu, Trans Male Character, Trans Ushijima Wakatoshi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25052737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avestrum/pseuds/avestrum
Summary: “Tsutomu.” Ushijima says once his hands are free.Goshiki pauses, waiting.“Come here.”He drops his overnight bag, uncaring that it plops onto the tatami mats as he practically throws himself at Ushijima.Day 5 of Shiratorizawa Week: Firsts + UshiGoshi, featuring both trans!goshiki and trans!ushijima
Relationships: Goshiki Tsutomu/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807795
Comments: 6
Kudos: 145
Collections: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020





	i want you

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Underage, Goshiki - 17, Ushijima - 19. Both Ushijima and Goshiki are FTM, Ushijima has had top surgery, Goshiki has not and still binds. Feminine terms are used to describe goshiki’s genitals, including cunt, clit, labia.

Goshiki is scared. 

It takes quite a bit to admit it but he’s scared of how Ushijima is going to react. 

His boyfriend of seven months, friend and senpai of one and a half years, is visiting since there is a break in training and he’s not required to sit for any college classes between seasons. Goshiki scuffs his sneakers on the ground as he walks up the street towards the Ushijima household, thankful that he remembered to change into some casual clothes after practice and didn’t just run all the way here in his uniform.

The Ushijima household is old and traditional, but well maintained. It’s obvious that Ushijima’s family has someone who cares about the flora in the vast gardens surrounding the house. Goshiki stops at the gate, eyeing the hydrangeas that have begun to bloom, in their rich purples that remind Goshiki of the Shiratorizawa uniform.

He takes a deep breath before his ribs protest and ache, reminded that he practiced with his binder on. He should have changed into a sports bra, but his chest made him feel sick today.

Practice is behind him now so it doesn’t matter. What matters now is that his boyfriend is waiting for him to come inside. He can already smell Ushijima cooking, as he normally does when he gets the chance to see Goshiki. Goshiki doesn’t understand why Ushijima prefers to cook when he’s around, having once mentioned that it’s calming and soothing for him to prepare a meal for his loved one.

God did Goshiki turn into a tomato when Ushijima openly referred to him as ‘love’.

But he’s still scared. 

They’ve barely ventured past some light petting and kissing each other with a safe distance between their bodies. Whether it was because Ushijima was attempting to be cautious, or if it was because Ushijima could’ve been uncomfortable with Goshiki’s body, still feminine and hidden underneath masculine wraps. Goshiki takes another deep breath when he notices that his hands are trembling where he’s holding onto the strap of his overnight bag, having permission to leave school grounds for the weekend.

He’s been staring at the front door for too long.

He fumbles with the gate, listening to the swing of the metal hinges before it clangs shut behind him and he steps up towards the front door. There’s a key in the flowerpot on the porch, the one Ushijima keeps just for when Tendou comes to visit, or well, now it’s for Goshiki too. 

Goshiki lets himself into the house. From the entrance, he can already smell the scent of something cooking, rice if he’d have to guess. Once he’s less distracted by the smell of food, he realizes the background noise isn’t just the rice cooker or the television, it’s music playing softly from the vague direction of the kitchen. 

Along with that music, is the deep baritone of his boyfriend singing along to whatever happens to be on the radio that sits on the kitchen counter. Goshiki steps through the tea room after toeing off his sneakers and socks, bare feet and toes scrunching onto the tatami mats. 

Ushijima is wiping some dishes dry at the sink. He’s not so much moving his hips to the music as he is just swaying while he sings and wipes the dish in his hand. Goshiki doesn’t want to interrupt him, when he can see that Ushijima is smiling softly to himself.

His boyfriend is mid sentence when he turns around to catch Goshiki watching him with wide and longing eyes.

“Tsutomu.” Ushijima’s voice is low, syllables of Goshiki’s given name long and drawn out. “How long have you been standing there?” Ushijima asks, before he glances over at the clock on the wall. “Oh, I started cooking later than I thought.” 

“W-Wakatoshi-san. Hi.” Goshiki rubs the back of his neck nervously. “I… yeah, Shirabu-san let us finish practice a little early.” He’s glad he’s in casual clothes now, because Ushijima is just in a plain shirt and some jeans, barefoot as well. It’s so domestic.

“My mother is visiting Obaachan for the weekend. We have the house to ourselves.” Ushijima says as he dries his hands and sets down the plate onto the kitchen counter. “I’ve made us some dinner, did you bring your books with you?” 

“Mhmm.” Goshiki nods rapidly, patting his overnight bag with his other hand. “I brought the worksheets you asked to see too!” Goshiki says, a little too loudly before he puts on a smile on his face.

“Tsutomu.” Ushijima says once his hands are free.

Goshiki pauses, waiting.

“Come here.”

He drops his overnight bag, uncaring that it plops onto the tatami mats as he practically throws himself at Ushijima.

  
  


*

If Goshiki is honest, Ushijima makes him feel like he’s writhing under his skin, but not in a bad way. Ushijima gets him hot under his skin, gets his stomach swooping and his boxers and thighs damp. He makes Goshiki’s head spins, driving him mad with what’s probably lust, love. 

They’re sitting on the tatami mats in the living room, well, Goshiki is sitting in Ushijima’s lap, stripped down to his binder and his boxers, jeans and shirt abandoned on the other side of the room. Ushijima is in his jeans and his shirt, too busy 

They had dinner after two and a half hours of studying, where Ushijima promised to look over his weekend homework. After that, Ushijima had dragged him to the tatami mats in front of the television. Then there had been a firm, large hand skirting over his thigh, and Ushijima’s lips brushed his temple and then the side of his throat.

Said lips close over his Adam’s apple, distracting him from his thoughts. Goshiki whimpers despite himself. He can feel Ushijima’s hard thighs beneath him, since his own legs are spread open because of them. He’s soaked his boxers through, self conscious that he’s dripping just from his boyfriend all but mauling his throat.

“Tsutomu.” Ushijima rasps against his throat, teeth scraping over his skin. God he wants him, wants him so much. One hand wanders up Goshiki’s back, slipping underneath the fabric of his binder.

“Wait… U-Ushijima-san-n.” Goshiki squeezes Ushijima’s shoulders. 

His boyfriend pulls away, both his hands firm on Goshiki’s thinner waist. His cheeks are flushed, Goshiki is sure that his own are as well. Ushijima’s pupils are blown wide, eyes dark as he scans Goshiki’s face, assessing him with concern.

“Tsutomu, what’s wrong?” 

Goshiki can’t meet his boyfriend’s eyes as he looks away. He can’t hide his face as he stumbles through what he wants to say. He doesn’t know if Ushijima is happy with his body, doesn’t know because  _ he’s not  _ happy with his body.

“Tsutomu, did I move too fast?” 

“No!” Goshiki flinches just from the way Ushijima’s face goes stern. “No…I… Do you wish I wasn’t born like this?” He blurts out without meaning to. Ushijima’s face, usually stoic and expressionless, cycles through a couple of emotions at once before it settles on what Goshiki thinks is a cross between sadness and anger.

Frustration maybe?

Or disappointment?

“Tsutomu…” Ushijima lifts one large hand to his face and strokes his cheek softly, swiping his thumb over his cheekbones in a slow and steady motion. “How long have you worried?” Ushijima’s face softens as he meets Goshiki’s eyes. 

“I don’t want to disappoint you.” Goshiki whispers in a soft voice, unable to look away from his boyfriend. Ushijima frowns, stroking his thumb back and forth over Goshiki’s cheekbones, before he sits back against the couch and all but sets Goshiki down onto his thighs. The older teen strips his shirt over his head, revealing a muscled chest and firm abs. 

“Do I disappoint you Tsutomu?” Ushijima asks as he takes hold of Goshiki’s hands and brings them to the scars underneath his pecs, faded enough they look more like soft shadows rather than evidence of his top surgery. 

“No!” Goshiki protests, shaking his head. His face is flushed. He rubs his own thumbs hesitantly over the scars beneath Ushijima’s pecs. “I haven’t… I’m not like you.” Goshiki says shyly. “You’re strong, and you’ve had it, and I’m…” Goshiki looks away, almost in shame and shrugs uselessly. “I’m still so girly.” 

“You are a boy.” Ushijima says. It is not forceful or angry. It is a statement of fact, and for some reason comforts Goshiki far more than intense reassurance does. Ushijima doesn’t say things for no reason. He does not say things he does not mean. Goshiki hides his face, and suspiciously wet eyes, by ducking his head. “Tsutomu,” Ushijima’s hand cups the side of Goshiki’s face. “as long as you are comfortable with me both seeing and touching your body, I will do so.” 

Goshiki drops his hands into his lap, shyly nodding along to Ushijima’s words before he swallows audibly. “Will… will you touch me?” 

Ushijima gives him a genuine smile, one that knocks the breath from Goshiki’s lungs. “Of course.” His boyfriend skirts his hands over the sides of Goshiki’s binder. “Here?” Ushijima over the smooth, soft skin of Goshiki’s abdomen before they land on the fabric of Goshiki’s boxers spread over his inner thighs. “Here?” 

“Hhnnh.” Goshiki lets out an incoherent noise, trembling where he’s sitting on Ushijima’s thighs. His boyfriend’s hands are large and warm, fingers callused. It tickles Goshiki as Ushijima trails his fingers on the insides of his thighs over his boxers. The younger teen shivers, head falling back as his thighs twitch and his hips grind forward of their own will. “W-Wakatoshi…” Goshiki starts breathily. “Ah!” Ushijima swipes two fingers over the damp patch of Goshiki’s boxers, pressing more slick further into the fabric. “Waka, Wakato- please!”

“Please what?” Ushijima rumbles, voice deep and vibrating through his chest and by close contact, Goshiki’s frame. “Use your words Tsutomu.” 

“P-Please touch my c-cunt!” Goshiki stammers, cheeks tomato red as he hides his face from his boyfriend. 

Ushijima inhales sharply, the sound loud in the otherwise silent living room. His thighs tense beneath Goshiki. For a moment, Goshiki is worried he’s gone too far. He doesn’t usually dirty talk, but he had found a video where the actor was also trans and had said something similar. 

Before he can stammer an apology, he’s being pushed off of Ushijima’s thighs and onto the tatami mats. His back hits the soft mats with barely any pain. Ushijima hovers over him, eyes dark before he shuffles down the mats. His hands grip onto Goshiki’s thighs tightly, fingers curling into the fabric of Goshiki’s boxers before those are tugged down his legs by Ushijima’s strong hands.

Goshiki lets out a yelp, barely managing to squeeze his legs shut before Ushijima is prying them open with the beginnings of a growl in his throat. “Tsutomu.” Ushijima says, somewhat stern. He grips the soft flesh of Goshiki’s inner thighs, smiling when Goshiki whimpers and writhes because his skin is sensitive. “Ask me again. Properly.” 

Goshiki blushes to the tips of his ears, tipping his head forward in hopes that his bangs could suddenly fall past his eyes to hide how horny Ushijima’s deep stare is making him (although how wet he is probably gives that away). 

“P-Please, Wakatoshi. Please t-touch my cunt.” Goshiki stammers again shyly, hands coming up to cover his face and the blush that paints his cheeks. 

“I will Tsutomu.” Ushijima lets out a content hum, before he spreads Goshiki’s legs apart and firmly dives in to lick a stripe up the length of Goshiki’s entrance.

The back of Goshiki’s head hits the tatami mats with a thud, as he lets out a pitiful whine as Ushijima licks around his clit. A part of Goshiki’s brain is grateful that he shaved down there after practice, though he wasn’t expecting this to happen tonight. With two fingers, Ushijima rubs over his labia, spreading his slick even further around the junction between his hips and thighs. 

“So wet.” Ushijima mumbles against Goshiki’s cunt. “So wet for me Tsutomu.  _ Good boy _ .” Goshiki shivers from the praise, wrapping his legs around Ushijima’s shoulders to tug him closer with his heels.

“Ah! Wa-ah-Wakatoshi I-” His stomach tightens as Ushijima’s lips close over his clit and he sucks on it experimentally. Whatever Goshiki is about to say is cut off by his own fist being shoved into his mouth, teeth grinding against his knuckles to stifle his moan. Ushijima rubs a thumb over his sensitive inner thighs, smiling from between Goshiki’s legs before he slips one finger in to rub at Goshiki’s insides. 

Goshiki’s head is blissfully blank when the rough pad of Ushijima’s finger starts to explore inside him. He’s gentle, but thorough, finger moving across inch by inch until he crooks his fingers. It’s like pushing a button inside of him that makes the pit of Goshiki’s stomach light up like the lights at a festival. His thighs tingle, his knees and elbows go weak.

“ _ Aaah Wakatoshi! _ ” Goshiki cries out, forgetting to bite down on his fist. “D-Do that again!” 

“As you wish.” Ushijima rumbles. He slips a second finger inside Goshiki, who allows him in easily, and crooks them both into that spot, causing Goshiki to all but throw himself across the mats from the sensation. “You’re so good Tsutomu, I’m so proud of you.” Ushijima says in a low voice, sincere and open as he smooths his thumb over inside of Goshiki’s thigh to reassure him. “You are strong and hardworking,” He leans in to kiss Goshiki’s cheek. “You’re handsome and stunning, no matter the body you were born in.” 

Goshiki blushes, flush spreading down his throat and to his collarbones, all the way down to his hips. His skin is pink and smooth as Ushijima leans back to stare at his boyfriend with both love and lust in his eyes. 

Goshiki’s thighs shake, stomach and chest almost heaving as Ushijima starts to thrust with his fingers, assaulting Goshiki with new sensations. Ushijima plants his thumb onto Goshiki’s clit while thrusting and curling his fingers, smiling when Goshiki cries out and whimpers. He forgets about hiding his noises behind his fist, instead his hands scramble on the tatami mats, looking for something to hold onto but can’t find it.

Ushijima clamps down on his thigh with his free hand, holding Goshiki down as he massages that spot that sends electricity running up Goshiki’s spine and makes his whole body seize up and tremble until Goshiki squeezes his eyes shut, pleasure overwhelming him, coil snapping hard and fast.

“Wakatoshi wai-” Goshiki slaps his hand over his mouth, stifling a loud moan, as slick gushes from his cunt, wetting Ushijima’s palm and wrist. It ends up spilling over the tatami mat underneath him, making a mess. Ushijima continues to crook his fingers and rub his fingertips against Goshiki’s insides, as Goshiki’s cunt clenches weakly around him, still spilling slick in weak spurts across Ushijima’s palm.

“Good boy Tsutomu.” Ushijima whispers as he leans in. He takes Goshiki’s hands away from his mouth with the hand that isn’t wet, smoothing his thumb over Goshiki’s bottom lip before he kisses the younger teen. 

Goshiki melts into the kiss, only slightly wincing when Ushijima pulls his fingers from his cunt and wipes his hand onto his jeans. Goshiki clings onto him, wrapping his arms around Ushijima’s shoulders as the older teen pulls Goshiki into his lap. 

“I love you.” Goshiki whispers absentmindedly against his boyfriend’s lips. 

Ushijima smiles, genuine and sweet as he wraps his arms around Goshiki’s waist, happy to wait until Goshiki has gained back some of his energy to offer Goshiki the opportunity for another orgasm.

Goshiki relaxes into Ushijima’s arms, feeling a lot more better than what he had at the start of that afternoon.

Afterall.

Ushijima loves him.


End file.
